


The Ways We Fall

by ThatOtherGirl



Category: Pride and Prejudice & Related Fandoms, Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, F/M, Slow Burn, kitty centric
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-08
Updated: 2018-04-20
Packaged: 2018-10-16 05:19:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 20,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10564419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatOtherGirl/pseuds/ThatOtherGirl
Summary: An unexpected turn of events sends Kitty and Darcy onto a much different path than either could have anticipated.Or the Kitty/Darcy AU that no one asked for!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I've always found Kitty and Mary to be the most fascinating characters of Pride and Prejudice. I felt like neither were given any consideration. We never really knew what the two were up to or their true feelings throughout the book. So of course I had to write a Kitty AU fic (and for good measure throw Darcy in the mix)! Hope you all enjoy it!

 

 ** _Chapter 1_** -

Longbourn was in an uproar.

Not that such a thing was unusual in a house of 5 girls and an overly excitable mother.

However, what was unusual was the urgency in Mr. Bennet and the three gentlemen he lead into his library.

So it was with little regard that the two remaining Bennet sisters in the household found themselves quickly ushered out of the way. Unfazed at being dismissed in such a manner and seemingly uninterested in the happenings around her, Mary simply donned her bonnet and pulled her sister from the chaos surrounding them. 

Kitty on the other hand was captivated by the scene unfolding before her eyes. She strained her ears as she peered behind her, hoping to catch some sort of clue to the happenings. Her efforts were rewarded when she saw her mother clutch at her chest and exclaim about her nerves. Sadly, the slam of the front door cut off any further useful information her mother may shout.

At the stern countenance of Mary, Kitty frowned; how her sister could be so unaffected she would never know! Clearly the situation was to be found fascinating!

From the little snippets of hushed conversation between the men, Kitty gathered the fuss had to do with Lydia. Kitty was unsurprised, for where Lydia went, shock and gossip tended to follow. She also was not surprised to hear Mr. Wickham’s name involved. Lydia's letters had been all too eager to describe in detail to Kitty how the many soldiers were falling over themselves for Lydia's favor, and that she had deemed Mr. Wickham as a favorite of hers.  

However, she could not fathom what the detestable Mr. Darcy had to do with the situation and why he was attending her father at this very moment. If only Mary had not been so quick to pull her from the house, for she may have learned even more! If there was one thing Kitty hated, it was being excluded- and with Lydia's smug letters chronicling her every adventure, that was _all_ Kitty had felt recently.

Kitty felt her mood darken as she thought of the last few weeks. She still could not believe that she had been abandoned here while her younger sister was enjoying the pleasures of the militia! What's worse, she had been left with no entertainment beyond the preaching of Mary and the nerves of her mother.

It did not seem fair that while she was wasting away in the country, Lydia would have some grand adventure _and_ with the dashing Mr. Wickham!

Oh how she envied her younger sister. To have such a handsome and charming soldier calling on her! Not that Kitty was likely to receive such attention; Lydia had always made sure to point such a fact out. It was a cruel thing for her sister to say, but Kitty found as much as the thought pained her, she could not argue with it. Her plain light brown hair could not compare to the chestnut locks of both Lizzy and Lydia, nor did she have Jane’s lovely eyes; her own being a rather boring greenish gray. It was no wonder she had never been able to entrance men like 3 of her sisters had done so often.

Kitty huffed to herself, feeling herself wilt under such thoughts. Mary gave her a stern look and gestured to the group of women walking around the bend. She knew she was expected to hurry her stride and catch up to the other ladies, but found herself dragging her feet.

She couldn't bear to be faced with Miss Scott and Miss Lucus, not when she knew they would expect her to recount all of Lydia's triumphs.

Pasting a grimace on her face, one that she found was more sincere than she would have wished; Kitty pulled her sister to a stop. "I seem to have a pebble in my slipper, do go on without me for I shall be a moment and you don't want to lose our dear friends."

Sensible and shrewd as she was, Mary eyed her sister with skepticism. However no fight was to be had. It seemed Mary was not in the mood for a sisterly battle of wills today as she simply nodded and hurried to catch up to the other group. "Don't be long."

Kitty waited until her sister was out of sight before quickly looking around and walking off the path in the direction of a nearby stream.

In a pique of rebellion, Kitty slipped off her stockings and shimmied out of her dress, leaving her only in her shift as she splashed in the cool water. It was an odd sort of thrill to be so daring, even if no one would know of it. Still, it soothed her heart that she too could have adventures just like her younger sister.

 

 

 

Mr. Darcy was known as many things; an excellent and very wealthy business man, a good guardian, and a loyal friend. Although to be fair, in some areas such as the county he was currently in, his listed attributes were far less flattering. Still, no matter where he was, it was hard to argue with the fact that Mr. Darcy was known as a good horseman and capable owner. Which was why at this very moment, Mr. Darcy felt sudden guilt while riding his clearly fatigued thoroughbred.

The poor creature had been put through the paces with a rapid race to London, then back to Meryton with little rest and even less care from its master.  He had not thought to ask the staff of Longbourn to tend his horse, too distracted by the urgency of his mission and, Darcy was loathe to admit, too heart sick being in the home of the woman he adored. He had called off when asked to partake in a meal before his leave, opting to escape the surroundings so touched by Miss Elizabeth and left his cousin and Mr. Gardiner to the care of their clearly grateful hosts.

It wasn't until after he was already mounted and out of sight from the house did Mr. Darcy take his poor horse into consideration. With a sigh, he altered directions and made for the stream he recalled from his previous visit to Meryton.

Reaching the babbling water, Mr. Darcy leapt down and allowed the thirsty animal to approach the stream ahead of him. Before he could so much as sit down by the water’s edge, there was a startled cry and Mr. Darcy found himself looking at the panic stricken face of Miss Elizabeth's younger sister.

His eyes widened as he took in her lack of attire before quickly being averted to look at the tree across the stream.

How a young lady found herself so exposed and in such a public place, Darcy would never know. It was shocking that a young lady should display such abandon for herself and society!

He was not sure why he should be so surprised though, as his only recollections of the Bennet sister before him were of the occasions he saw her at balls as she ran wild with Lydia Bennet; both girls giggling and succeeding in making spectacles of themselves in the company of the soldiers. He already knew of the scandalous behavior her younger sister had already partaken in, so of course the other silly girl should attempt to follow!

It was moments like these that Darcy found difficult to reconcile his feelings with a woman that had such an uncouth and disgraceful family. How Miss Elizabeth was borne from these people, he would never know.

"Where pray tell are your clothes?" Voice strained with disapproval, Darcy kept his eyes trained on the tree as he awaited her answer. He was tempted to ask many other questions though; did she have no common decency? Where was her chaperone? What in the world did she think she was doing? For now though, he settled on the most pressing issue at hand. 

"I-I was swimming..." Her voice sounded weak even to her own ears. Kitty felt as if her cheeks were on fire as she ineffectively tried to cover herself. Her thin shift did little to preserve her modesty and now thoroughly wet was barely any concealment at all. To her horror, she realized she might as well have been naked for how much was revealed!  She wished she could simply run past the horrid man and make her escape, however her clothes were too far to reach, especially with an audience. "They're b-by your horse."

Swiftly turning on his heel, Darcy grabbed the items in question and thrust his arm towards her, eyes never turning to her direction.

Of course, fate was not in the mood to be kind today and before Kitty could take offered clothing, a loud gasp filled the tense silence.

Both heads whipped towards the sound, hearts filling with dread as four sets of stunned eyes took in the tawdry scene before them.


	2. Chapter 2

 

In just as many hours, Mr. Darcy found himself for a second time in the library of Mr. Bennet discussing the very probable scandal of one of the Bennet sisters. This time however, Mr. Darcy did not already have the solution well underway, nor was he prepared to glance at the shaking young woman seated quietly across the room. Luckily, Mrs. Bennet had been resting upstairs, her nerves not yet soothed from the morning’s earlier excitement. Mary too was nowhere to be found, having made a hasty escape to her room after answering her father’s pressing questions.

"How you have managed to both rescue my family's honor and place it in question in less than a few hours is beyond me, Mr. Darcy." Mr. Bennet sighed and rubbed his tired face. He had thought after the mess with Lydia solved this morning that his most pressing troubles were behind him. Oh how wrong he had been.

Mr. Bennet took a moment to be thankful his two eldest were not in attendance, although maybe his serene Jane and level headed Lizzy may have added enough common sense to the proceedings that a such situation would not have occurred in the first place.

Not bothering to spare a glance at his foolish daughter, his eyes again trained on the tense young gentleman sitting before him, Mr. Bennet continued. "Your selfless service to this family has shown me your exemplary character and I do believe both your and my daughter's account of the incident."

Kitty sighed in relief at his words, too consumed by her own problems to process why Mr. Darcy would deserve such words of praise. Surely if her father believed them, then the issue would be settled with little more than a lecture on propriety and both could go on their separate ways. How she longed to be free of Mr. Darcy’s presence and forget this entire ordeal.

Unaware of his daughter’s turn of thoughts, Mr. Bennet fixed a pointed look at the somber man, wondering how he would react to his next words. “Of course, all this does nothing to change the circumstances, nor that my daughter shall be quite ruined by the end of the day. I have no doubt Mrs. Lucus is gossiping about this matter as we speak. The fact that she has two other witnesses will only lend credence to her story."

Kitty shuddered at the thought; remembering the muted glee in the older woman's eyes and the smug look on her face after the initial shock had worn off. Miss Lucus and Miss Scott had merely stood gaping with their mouths open.

However, it was image of Mary that would stay with Kitty the rest of her life. Kitty had thought to see admonishment and disgust; instead her sister’s usually stern eyes had been endless wells of pity. Mary, for all her social awkwardness and preaching, was far wiser than given credit and had known that the carefree days of Kitty’s girlhood would not survive beyond that moment, even if Kitty herself had not yet come to that conclusion. A quick squeeze of her hand was all the comfort Mary had been allowed to spare for her sister before being promptly dismissed. It was that thought of small comfort that Kitty now clung to -and for the first time Kitty could remember, she wished Mary to be by her side.

Not knowing what to say to fix the situation, Kitty watched from afar as the two men made eye contact and seemed to come to a silent understanding.   

Darcy had been sitting quietly as Mr. Bennet spoke, his mind racing with possible solutions and only reaching one conclusion. With Mr. Bennet's dire words, Darcy knew he too was thinking of the only option available.

Briefly closing his eyes, Darcy conjured up the image of Miss Elizabeth and the life he had for the briefest of times allowed himself to hope for. With a weary sigh, he banished them from his mind. 

It was not with a heavy heart that Darcy spoke his next words, but with a broken one. "We will have to marry."

 


	3. Chapter 3

 

     

             True to society’s odd notions, marriage seemed to magically transform the salacious details of the incident between Mr. Darcy and Kitty into a rose colored, albeit unconventional, courting story.

Mr. Darcy was not seen as a rake that had taken advantage of a young country miss and Kitty was not a loose, fallen woman. Society had simply declared them an over eager couple and chose to overlook the indecent details Mrs. Lucus had been all too happy to provide. 

Kitty sighed and twisted the rings now sitting on her left hand. She was not naive enough to believe that had the marriage not taken place all would have been well. No, she knew that she would have been the center of cruel speculation and found herself cut from the good graces of those she had known her entire life.

Still, the fact that a hastily thrown together wedding meant all was forgiven did not sit right with Kitty. Neither did the rumors circulating the county about her and Mr. Darcy.

Somehow, their marriage had been mistaken as a love match. Kitty did not have to tax her mind to know that her mother had more than enough to do with it. Mrs. Bennet had been beside herself with the news. As much as she disliked Mr. Darcy, the fact remained that he was a very, very rich bachelor that had taken a shine to one of her daughters. That it was Kitty, the daughter she had placed the least of her hopes on, aside from Mary, meant that Mrs. Bennet could barely contain her joy. If Kitty was able to secure a man of Mr. Darcy’s means, there was no limit to the matches her eldest two could make! There may even be hope for Mary!

Kitty flinched as she recalled her mother’s words. While it was no secret Mrs. Bennet had favorites, it still hurt to hear how lowly her mother considered her.

Mr. Bennet, true to form, had shown little interest in the proceedings once he had been assured Mr. Darcy would handle all the legalities for the occasion. So, Darcy had left with the promise to return the next day with all the required documents and Kitty had locked herself in her room. Mrs. Bennet had lamented on her nerves while setting about planning the finest wedding she could with such short notice. It had become common to hear Mrs. Bennet exclaim about the blessings of not one, but _two_ daughters married at anyone that crossed her path.

It seemed her mother did not find it odd that the bride refused to face the world beyond her small room.  At least Kitty had Mary to some extent, who for her part would read tedious sermons to her despondent sister as it was the only comfort she knew how to give.

 _Looking up from the book in her hands, Mary trailed off midsentence. It seemed she wasn’t helping in the slightest as the tears continued to race down the cheeks of the despondent girl curled up beside her on the bed._ _Mary, never one to be included in any of her four sister’s dealings, found the situation foreign and yet in a secret part of her heart, welcomed the rare show of sisterly bonds. Life as the superfluous fifth to the two pairs her sisters fell into had resulted in a somewhat solitary life. She didn’t begrudge them their closeness. Jane and Lizzy were so like minded that it was natural they should go together.  And Lydia, not one to be left behind, had claimed Kitty as her own almost from the moment she was able to talk. Sadly though, that had left Mary alone and unnecessary. So, while she could, she would embrace the closeness of her sister and the warmth of feeling wanted._

 _“It may not be so horrible.”_ _Gently threading her fingers through her crying sister’s hair, Mary attempted her most soothing tone._ _“He’s sensible. One could do worse for a husband.”_

_“Look at what he did to poor Mr. Wickham!” Swiping her wet cheeks with the back of her hand, Kitty frowned up at her sister. “Even Lizzy said he’s a horrid man! And she’s almost always right about these things!”_

_Mary couldn’t argue those points, they had all heard of the terrible fate Mr. Wickham had faced due to Mr. Darcy’s cruel actions._

_Sitting up quickly, Kitty held a sudden gleam in her eyes that had Mary feeling uneasy. "Maybe I could leave here! Doesn't Mother have a widowed cousin in Somerset?"_

_"Yes, but to leave with such a scandal would destroy the Bennet name..."_

_Shoulders slumping, Kitty knew it was not an option. Society was cruel in the fact that one sister could ruin any chances of the rest. "…And any prospects for you, Lizzy and Jane."_

_Mary felt touched to be included in the list as if she had the same prospects as her older sisters; it was a kindness she doubted her mother would have bothered with._

_Trying a different approach, Mary attempted her best encouraging smile. “I heard his estate is quite extensive. You might not even see him that often.”_

_Apparently that was not as comforting as it was meant as Kitty immediately began to sob. “I don’t want a loveless marriage where we cannot bear one another.”_

_The image of her dismissive father and his pointed mockery towards their seemingly oblivious mother filled her mind. No, that was not a fate she would wish for either._

_Without any prior experiences in consoling another, Mary found herself at a loss and turned back to the previously discarded book, the familiar words filling the room once more._

The day passed in a blur and before Kitty knew it, she was prodded into a white muslin gown, nothing extravagant like she had always dreamed for her wedding, and numbly repeating the Parson’s words in front of the town and Mr. Darcy.

She refused to cry at the thought of her wedding only a mere day before. It had been nothing like she had planned all her life. Jane, Lizzy and Lydia had not been able to attend; Kitty was not even sure if they had received the news of her marriage yet. While she was not close to her older sisters, they were still her family and she had felt their absence deeply. Even more painful was that her closest sister, the confidant and playmate of her entire life, had not been there. Of course, Kitty knew Lydia likely would have made the day even more miserable than it already had been; for Lydia would see this wedding as Kitty attempting to steal her sister’s moment of glory at being the first and only married Bennet sister. Still, if Lydia excelled at anything, it was providing a merry distraction- something Kitty had desperately required once she caught sight of the glower on the groom’s face. Darcy had not attempted even the pretense of a smile, his somber air doing nothing for Kitty’s own disposition. She could count the words on one hand he had spoken to her since the wedding. Not that they had much chance to converse, or that Kitty even _wanted_ to, with the celebratory luncheon and hurried packing in order to depart that same evening for her new home.

There had been a small lingering hope that he would insist upon traveling through the night, thus delaying the wedding night. Sadly, it was not to be as Darcy was not a thoughtless man and would not have his new wife, no matter how unwanted she may be, spend days on end in a carriage.

_Standing in the long corridor with the man she had just that morning vowed to honor, Kitty felt a wave of nerves spread across her body as she realized they were alone._

_She had never noticed how intimidating a figure Mr. Darcy truly was. Maybe it was because she had never been so close to him. Now though, standing before him, Kitty realized just how much taller he was, her nose just reaching his chin, his broad shoulders suddenly looming ominously over her petite frame._

_Dread curled in her stomach. She knew exactly what was to happen next; her mother had quickly and somewhat vaguely explained the wifely duties to be endured._

_There was no sign Darcy noticed the sudden tremors racking her small frame as he took a step forward. When he leaned forward, Kitty gritted her teeth and willed her body not to flee. Shock and confusion swept over her as she realized he was not moving towards her, but reaching beyond her for the door knob. Before she could open her mouth to voice her puzzled thoughts, Darcy had already ushered her into the room and was pulling the door closed.  "Get some rest. We’ll leave at dawn."_

_And with that, he was gone, the door softly clicking shut behind him._

_A breath of relief swiftly escaped her, taking with it any of her remaining energy. Sinking down onto the bed, Kitty looked around the empty room, a coldness seeping into her bones as she realized just how far from home she truly was._

The memory made Kitty shiver; she had never been away from her family and now she was leaving the only life she had ever known forever, with no comfort besides the abrupt and stiff man she was forced to marry. Kitty glanced out the window where Darcy was riding beside the carriage. The man could barely tolerate her presence, instead opting to ride in the rain, so she had no notions that he would offer anything other than contempt.

 

 

       The rain hitting his face was an odd comfort to Darcy, for it was at least a mild distraction from his turbulent thoughts. His mind had been struggling to process that although he had finally managed to marry a Bennet, it was the wrong one. He had longed for Elizabeth Bennet and now the possibility was lost to him forever. His heart felt hollow at that thought and his mind returned to the last few days. While he had told Mr. Bennet the truth of his departure for the required documents, he had also felt the need to explain to Elizabeth the drastic changes that had occurred in such a short time. He did not know what her family would write of the situation, but suspected it would not be accurate by any means. He could not allow her to think that he had shown her affections only to run into the arms of her sister. Only, standing at the door to her Aunt and Uncle’s house, Darcy had been unable to knock. To tell her in person would make the situation real and he was not yet ready to acknowledge that his life had ended up thus. While Darcy loathed cowards, he found that his heart ached too much and allowed himself this one reprieve. Instead he had written a letter explaining the necessity of such a marriage, that out of fate's twisted designs he had no other option. Out of duty, he had felt the need to reassure Elizabeth that he would do his best to care for her younger sister.

 

 

 

           At that same moment, Darcy’s own sister was trying to solve the puzzle presented to her. Georgiana frowned, reading the letter in her hands for a third time. Her mind was finding it difficult to wrap around her brother's words. The concept was not difficult to grasp, merely the woman that he wrote of. Catherine Bennet was not the name she had expected with such news and stirred more questions than answers. While her brother’s new bride was a Bennet, a name she had heard quite a bit over the last few months, it was not the lady she had anticipated as a sister. She had been sure that her brother held affections for a different Bennet sister! Not that he had even been so forthright in his feelings, but Georgiana had always been able to read her dearest brother and had gathered his intentions fell towards a Miss Elizabeth Bennet. She doubted she had ever heard her brother speak of this Catherine Bennet, for she was sure she had never heard the name before! Or had that been her brother’s goal from the start? To divert any and all that may wish to speculate. She knew how he despised gossip and being the center of such attention with the woman he loved must have seemed the most loathe of circumstances. Realization lit up Georgiana’s face; of course her loyal and fiercely protective brother would want to shelter the lady that held his heart.

Oh how clever her brother was! Misleading the world from the lady of his true intent!

It would be so nice to finally have another female to spend her time with. As much as Georgiana loved her brother and cousin, they often times did not understand the workings of her mind, nor was she able to share her innermost thoughts with them. She could scarcely wait to meet the newest member of her family.


	4. Chapter 4

It appeared Mary's words proved to be prophetic. Kitty barely saw her husband in the weeks following the wedding; only in the same room with him for painfully awkward meals. Those short periods did nothing to reveal his character to her as he barely bothered to look in her direction after the requisite- and oh so pointedly brief- greetings. Mealtimes in the Darcy household had quickly become the bane of her existence; the only reprieve available was that two of the parties involved seemed eager to cut the time as short as politely possible while the third watched on in puzzlement.

Kitty knew Georgiana must have noticed the strain between the newlyweds, however beyond speaking in rapid and cheery tones to cover the tense silences, the other girl showed no other acknowledgement of the situation.

It seemed that the younger girl had taken the abrupt marriage in stride and welcomed her new sister eagerly into her life. Their first private conversation had lifted a heavy burden from Kitty’s heart, one she had not even realized she was carrying.

_Soft voice tinged with hope, Georgiana timidly looked at her brother’s bride. "I have always wanted a sister."_

_"Well, I have always had an overabundance of sisters, so it will bring me great comfort to have another close by." Kitty hadn’t realized the complete truth of her words until she spoke them. The last few days had been a whirlwind and now that she had a moment to think, their impact on her life suddenly felt even more severe. Feeling overwhelmed, she pulled the younger girl into a hug, happy to receive an embrace in return._

_“Then you must call me Georgie- just as my family does!”_

_“And you’ll call me Kitty.”_

It was still mind boggling to Kitty at the drastic difference between the Darcy siblings. Where Mr. Darcy was cold and abrupt, Miss Darcy was nothing but kindness. Although, why such a thing should cause wonder when she had four other sisters so drastically different from the next did not occur to her.

However, as sweet as Georgiana was, there was an ever present tentativeness to the girl that made Kitty feel hesitant in their interactions; worried that too blatant of a comment would place a rift in their blossoming friendship. There was also the rather glaring fact that Georgie idolized her older brother and Kitty was sure her opposing views would not be received well. Not to say that Kitty didn’t value time spent with the other girl. It was soothing to be surrounded by Georgie’s gentle nature and the task of drawing her out of her often overwhelming shy tendencies was a welcome distraction from Kitty’s own encroaching loneliness. Their friendship was something Kitty had come to rely on greatly during her time at Pemberley.

The only problem was that while Georgie had picked up on the marital discord, she was still under the impression there was a foundation of mutual affection and felt the need to offer reassurances to the new wife. As much as Kitty wanted a friend to confide in, she doubted it would be wise to include the younger girl into the truth of the matter. Kitty had quickly learned the telltale signs that Georgie was attempting to broach the topic of her doomed marriage and had become something of an expert in making a hasty retreat.

Unsurprisingly after such an escape, Kitty would frequently find herself in the impressive stables. Where Lizzy’s weakness was books and Mary’s the piano, Kitty’s had always been horses. It had been her deepest regret not to have a mare of her own. While not destitute, the Bennets were not well off enough to have a stable of their own so Kitty had to rely on the good nature of their more fortunate neighbors to indulge her.   

Kitty had instantly been drawn to the sweet filly of Georgie’s, christened Daisy. The beautiful and docile creature had soothed her nerves and Kitty had decreed the stables to be her favorite part of Pemberley.

It had been rather unexpected when the large and intimidating thoroughbred in the next stall over had vied most for her attention. She couldn’t deny that appearances had been deceiving as the chestnut horse was even sweeter than Daisy. It had been easy to make a point of showering both equally with affection and sweet treats.

It was that scene of harmony that Darcy saw as he entered the stables. His purposeful strides slowed at the sight of his prized horse being doted on by none other than the woman he had been painstakingly avoiding. Darcy had always prided himself on being forthright and facing his problems as a gentleman should, but knew he had fallen short of his ambition where it came to his wife. It had been so much easier to pretend there was nothing amiss in his life if he simply ignored the new addition to his household and as the weeks bled into one another, it became a routine he found hard to disrupt. Conflicted, Darcy paused; as tempted as he was to quietly slink away from the stables, a larger part refused to sink to those depths. The moment of hesitation was enough to remove the decision from his hands as Kitty’s attention was suddenly on him.

Silence stretched between them, both eyeing the other warily. It was the first time since their depressing wedding night that they had been alone in the same room with one another and Kitty found it difficult to think of anything to discuss with the overly serious man.

Without Georgie’s presence as a buffer, Kitty sighed inwardly as she realized she would have to be the one to break the awkward silence. Patting the nose of the beast eating a sugar cube from her other hand, Kitty murmured. "I hope you don’t mind. He seems to expect treats whenever I’m near and I didn’t want to disappoint him.”

Seemingly surprised at her decision to take the lead in their interaction, Darcy quickly glanced at the animal in question. For the first time since their unfortunate encounter by the stream, the ever present aura of disapproval surrounding Darcy faded as surprise swept across his features. “I did not take you as a horseman.”

A small chuckle escaped Kitty. “I’m afraid it was the bane of my father’s existence. When I was nine, I think I must have asked for a pony every day for a year. Luckily the Scott’s had a few horses I was allowed to visit– none as fine as Pemberley’s though.”

The corners of Darcy’s lips tilted upwards and Kitty couldn’t help but wonder what he would look like with a true smile upon his face. “I’m sure they enjoy the additional attention.”

It was true, Darcy thought. While his stable hands were efficient and provided the best of care, there was no one beyond himself that would simply take the time to dote on the animals. His dear little sister was not known for seeking out the stables, only venturing to see the dainty little mare when Darcy coaxed her to join him for a ride. It was clear to see that obvious affection Kitty showered on the large creatures was returned.

“What's his name?"

"Caesar.” It had been an odd moment of whimsy on his part to name the horse after the historical figure. However, spurred by Georgiana’s delighted giggles, Darcy had given in to the impulse.

Kitty smiled brightly, recognition spreading over her face. “Well, I certainly hope Brutus is nowhere to be found in these stables.”

For the second time in a matter of minutes, Darcy found himself surprised by the young woman in front of him. He had not taken her to hold interests in scholarly endeavors. “You have an appreciation of history?”

“I cannot to claim to have extensive knowledge as Mama did not approve of such pursuits.” A small chuckle escaped Kitty’s lips as she shook her head. Her mother had wailed for days about Lizzy being a bad influence and bemoaned the fact that no man would marry such girls. In the end, Lydia had decreed herself bored of the situation and Kitty had abandoned her new found interest. “It held my attention far more than it did Lydia’s or Jane’s though.”

In an instant, Darcy felt his mood darken, the mention of her sisters an unwelcome reminder of all that had transpired. Somehow, he had convoluted ties and an unhappy history with the majority of her sisters, though he doubted the young woman in front of him knew of his role in their lives.

“I must be going and leave you to your day.” Stiffly, Darcy nodded and spun on his heel, making an abrupt exit.

Alone once more, Kitty huffed to herself, unsure how they had gone from having a seemingly pleasant conversation- the first real one she could recall- to his detached dismissal. She was unsure what to make of her husband and the fact he did not seem inclined to spend more than a few moments in her presence did little to help the situation. That she too had never made any attempts to further their relationship before this moment was something Kitty chose to overlook in her annoyance.

Suddenly the stables no longer held the same appeal as minutes earlier. Giving Daisy and Caesar farewell pats, she made her way to her massive- and beautifully- decorated set of rooms.

Her time at Pemberley had taught her that when such a mood struck, the best solution was to lose herself in her connections to the outside world. That evening, like most of the ones preceding it, Kitty sat at her elegant desk and wrote to any and all friends and family she could recall, hoping for a hasty response to alleviate some of her solitude.

Luckily, her many friends of Meryton had been eager to maintain a connection with the now esteemed Mrs. Darcy and happily informed her of the happenings in her hometown. Her mother, while not the best correspondent also attempted to regale her of all the gossip she heard.

Surprisingly, even Mary had been faithfully responding to her many letters, even more shocking was that there were often funny witticisms included. They had become the highlight of her days, quickly opened upon arrival and leaving Kitty giggling. She had never expected her dreary sister to display any sort of humor. It made her wonder if it was a new trait or merely one that had been lost in the bustle of having too many sisters, especially ones as clever as Lizzy and loud as Lydia.

The thought of her two other sisters made Kitty frown. She had not heard a thing from either and wondered at what kept them from responding to her numerous letters. Lydia was not too surprising since she was a horrible correspondent unless she had something to brag about; however it was most unlike Lizzy. While Jane was kind enough to send regular correspondence with updates on life in London, there was nothing but silence from Lizzy’s end.

She also could not understand why Lizzy and Jane continued to remain in London with her Aunt and Uncle Gardiner when they could have easily come to Pemberley- after all, wasn’t a freshly married sister enough reason to rush back for visit?


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter** **5**

Not for the first time, Lizzy found her eyes tracing the somber sentiments expressly written to her; heartbreak and despair revealed so humbly for her and her alone. Honestly, she did not know why she bothered to look down at the much abused paper in her hands, the words had already been seared into her mind. Even after countless weeks to digest the shocking turn of events, she still found the situation hard to grasp. She scanned the words once again, as if they would suddenly rearrange themselves to soothe her weary mind.

Shame washed over her as she glanced at the neglected stack of letters that had been hastily placed atop the small desk, read once and then promptly dismissed. Surprisingly, Kitty had been nothing if not faithful in her correspondence to both her and Jane. However, where Jane quickly took pen to paper, Lizzy found herself unable to think of any kind or proper words for the new bride. This had been the motivating force behind Lizzy convincing her Aunt and sister that they should refrain from rushing back to the country; explaining that Kitty should be given more time to settle into her new role before having a family visit added to her numerous responsibilities. Oh, Lizzy knew she should feel more regard for her younger sister, however she found that her compassion would not extend so far. It was Kitty's impulsive nature and scandalous behavior that had led to this sorry state of affairs.

She could not fathom how fate could be so cruel; how after all Mr. Darcy had done to protect her family's honor after Lydia's actions, he somehow found his life irrevocably altered due to yet another of her impetuous sister’s actions.

It did not seem possible that in only a few days, so much had been upended. For while Mr. Darcy and Kitty had found their lives to be drastically changing in Meryton; Lizzy had been so many miles away with the sudden realization that her feelings towards Mr. Darcy were not as they once were.

Her regard for him had grown with the news that he was not the cruel unfeeling man she had been lead to believe. Once she learned the truth and heard of his trials, Lizzy had allowed herself to accept his different perspective and found that he was not the man she had vehemently declared him to be. To be sure, she was correct that Mr. Darcy had viewed himself as the superior to most of her peers. However, she could now see him for the man underneath the formal veneer. He was a loyal friend and caring brother; hadn't his misguided actions with Mr. Bingley shown that he cared greatly for his friend's heart. Lizzy had long since forgiven him for his role in the distance between Jane and Mr. Bingley because she too would have taken such action had she thought Jane's tender heart in danger of breaking.

There was also no denying the love he clearly felt for his younger sister. He had done everything in his power to protect her from the cruelty of the world, even if that meant that Mr. Wickham could use his silence against him.

The drastic change of perspective had left Lizzy with a peculiar warmth close to her heart at the thought of Mr. Darcy. It wasn't love, too new and unsure to be described as such. It had been a tentative feeling slowly growing deep in her chest; a fragile blossoming of hope and mutual understanding that she had never felt before.

No, it wasn’t love, but given the chance- she thinks it could have been. With a heavy sigh, Lizzy stood and placed both letters into her new hat box, vowing that this time she would not disturb them again.

 

 

* * *

 

          Miles away and unaware of the turbulent thoughts centered on him, Darcy found himself sitting in his study with an aching head. His frustration directed at the piles of letters neatly stacked on his desk. All from various friends and family and all focused on the same subject: his sudden and unexpected marriage. In the weeks that had passed since his farce of a wedding, Darcy had found himself overrun with letters of well wishes and in two cases, rage fueled diatribes.

The words from Miss Bingley had managed to insincerely express her congratulations before snidely defaming the character of his new wife and implying his grievous mistake in shackling himself to such a woman.

Then there was the much more blatant disgust from his Aunt Catherine. He cringed at the crude language that had been used to describe his wife, himself and any future generations of Darcys. His Aunt had not had the grace to stop at the one letter, but instead insisted on disparaging the residents of Pemberley at least two to three times a week. At this point, Darcy would not be surprised if she descended upon them before the month was over. It was at times like these that Darcy regretted the short distance between his Aunt’s estate and Pemberley.

Not to be outdone were Bingley's numerous letters, far more joyful and kind, but no less exhausting. It had taken all of Darcy’s effort to convince his friend not to abandon London to offer his heartfelt congratulations.

All the other missives from friends and family were of the same tones as Charles’, expressing happiness and blatantly inquiring when they would have the honor of meeting the new Mrs. Darcy.

Even his impertinent cousin, the esteemed Colonel Fitzwilliam, had joined in the encouragement. The man was well aware of the situation in full and yet had still written about how a young bride would adore London and should be introduced to proper society. He had concluded his thoughts by insinuating that the situation would be better dealt head on than the current method of avoidance.

Darcy rubbed his throbbing temples; while he had written sufficiently polite responses to every single missive, his cousin was right, he could not delay the inevitable much longer without raising even more speculation. 

* * *

 

 

     The sound of a beautiful lively tune filled the drawing room from where Georgiana played on the grand piano and Kitty found that it matched her current mood.

The source of her newfound joy could be attributed to the letter delivered just that morning. It seemed Lydia had managed to finally find time to acknowledge her closest sister. She had detailed the fun she and Wickham were enjoying and how jealous the other ladies of Brighton were that Lydia had snatched the most charming and handsome man right from under their noses. Kitty giggled to herself, she had no doubt that Lydia was enjoying flaunting her great catch at all of Mr. Wickham’s admirers. Her sister included a casual inquiry of how Kitty was finding married life, stating that for as horrid as Mr. Darcy was, he had a fortune to balance his unpleasant countenance. Lydia’s final lines were pretty words of flattery and a reminder for Kitty to remember her duty to her other sisters in the face of her new fortune.

Kitty was not foolish enough to misinterpret Lydia’s blatant money grab or the attempt to manipulate her, however the excitement of hearing from her younger sister allowed her to overlook those matters. Besides, it wasn’t as if Lydia was wrong in her logic. While Darcy had ignored her, except for their ill-fated discussion the week prior, he was nothing if not a dutiful provider. During her first few days as Mrs. Darcy, Kitty had found herself fitted with an entirely new, and much more elegant, wardrobe- not to mention the generous pin money that was allocated for any of her other needs. Thus far, the benefits of this marriage were of little import. While she could appreciate these considerations, they meant little when she had not ventured from the estate and therefore had nothing to buy and no one beyond Georgiana to appreciate her new dresses. It would be of little consequence to spare some pin money for her younger sister.   

“What has captured your attention, Kitty?”

So caught up in her musings, Kitty had not noticed the sudden silence or the approach of Georgie. Pulling herself from her thoughts, Kitty looked at the gentle face of the younger girl and softly bit her lip as she folded the letter. It wasn’t that she wanted to withhold the news of Lydia’s response, rather she suspected it would only manage to unsettle Georgie. The few times Kitty had discussed either Lydia or Wickham, the poor girl had gone pale and seemed to withdraw into herself even more than her natural tendency. It was an odd response and one Kitty was all too curious about. However, whereas Lydia was known to be callous when it suited her, Kitty had always had a more tender heart, especially towards someone as sweet as Georgie. So she did not push the issue and had made an effort to avoid the topic altogether.

Sensing the older girl’s hesitation, Georgiana let the subject drop. “I was wondering what you would like to do this afternoon. I could play that new piece for you again.”

As much as she enjoyed when Georgie shared her musical talent, she could only sit silently for so long before she began to feel restless.

Kitty thought for a moment; gossip had been a popular pastime, but as Georgiana wouldn't know any of the people involved, it was not likely to be entertaining for either party. At home, they had sown and adorned their bonnets and new dresses, but she doubted that was something anyone in the Darcy family would spend time doing.

Besides, she had too much energy and joy to waste sitting around.

Thinking about how her family had often spent rainy days, Kitty smiled. "Well, my sisters and I used to hold playacts. Lizzy was very good at a dramatic reading." They hadn’t done so in years, all too aware that certain games were best left to the whimsy of children, but Kitty found herself feeling lighthearted and eager to embrace the innocent joys of her youth.

Which was how an hour later, Kitty found herself to be a beautiful pirate queen attempting to steal gold from the lovely fairy princess.

It was with surprise and glee that Kitty discovered the usually reserved Georgiana had a penchant for playacting. With a little encouragement, the other girl had thrown herself wholeheartedly into her character, shedding her typical soft spoken demeanor for that of a worldly royal. It never occurred to Kitty that it was a sign of the implicit trust and affection that Georgiana felt towards her, but Kitty was not one to overthink such simple joys. 

Jumping onto the chaise, Kitty growled at the other girl. “You’re a scoundrel and that gold shall be mine!”

Not to be outdone, Georgiana pulled a quill from the desk and playfully swiped at the air. “Never! I shall hunt you until the end of my days!”

It was at this moment that Darcy happened upon them, brow furrowed together at the scene. His blood ran cold as he watched his refined sister behave in such an unseemly manner. Of course Catherine would attempt to turn his dignified sister into a hellion just like herself. Hadn’t he witnessed firsthand how little regard she had for polite society? Darcy damned himself for bringing Catherine here and exposing his darling sister to her inelegance and lack of decorum. His only excuse for the oversight was he had been too raw from his battered heart and had been in desperate need of the comfort only a loving family member could provide. He had simply accepted the support from Georgie and had not given the situation more of his consideration. Well, that was going to change now.

"Catherine, a word." Both girls jumped at his sudden arrival. Color flooded Georgie’s cheeks as she looked down in embarrassment and Kitty spared her an encouraging smile. As his tone brooked no argument, Kitty instantly stepped down from the chaise and followed him out the door. He continued walking until they reached one of the private tea rooms on the first floor, not bothering to acknowledge her until they stopped.

Kitty did not understand what she had done wrong to earn such a tone from him, nor why he would wish to speak to her when he had seemed content to leave her to her own devices. 

When he did not speak and merely glowered at her, Kitty attempted to lighten the mood. “You may call me Kitty, for everyone else does."

Not impressed by her casual demeanor, which was frankly the problem in the first place, Darcy looked down at her. " _Catherine_ , I would appreciate if you would cease exposing Georgiana to any more of your nonsense."

"Such as my name?" Kitty chewed on her bottom lip, not sure how to react the comment. She did not understand how such a thing could bring offense to anyone. Although, she was sure the stiff man in front of her could find reproach at anything.

Darcy blinked at her, his dark gaze more intense than before- a feat Kitty had not thought possible. "To your silly playacting games. She does not require such nonsense in her life."

A frown marred Kitty’s face as she processed his rude declaration. She didn’t know how this man could be so uptight that he wouldn’t allow his only sister a little entertainment. Could he really begrudge them a bit of amusement solely between themselves? To be honest, Kitty felt the carefree games were good for the younger girl. Upon their arrival, Kitty had sensed a deep loneliness in Georgie. A few weeks ago, Kitty doubted she would have recognized it for what it was, however it was almost as if her own emotions had been reflected back to her and Kitty had instantly felt a kinship with her newest sister.

Even after so much time spent with Georgiana, Kitty was no closer to discovering the reason for the other girl’s turmoil. What she did know was that having a companion had been a salve to both of their weary souls.

“It was simply a bit of amusement, I see no harm in it.”

“No, of course _you_ wouldn’t. I’ve seen the way you and Lydia make spectacles of yourselves at balls and I will not allow my sister to be ruined due to your influence!” Darcy snapped through clenched teeth, hissing the other Bennet sister’s name like a curse. Kitty’s flippant attitude was just further proof that Georgiana should be sheltered from her. He inwardly bemoaned the fact that she was not Elizabeth, for he had no doubt _she_ would have been a fine example to his impressionable sister.

“My influence!” The implication that Kitty would actually do _harm_ to Georgiana just by spending time with her caused a burst of indignation to flare inside her chest. Kitty pursed her lips- a sign her family would have instantly recognized as a preparation for battle. “Let me assure you, _Sir_ , that my influence has done nothing but bring some joy to a sad and lonely girl! How blind you must be not to see that your sister requires a bit of lighthearted play!”

Rage swept through Darcy at her comment. How dare she imply she had better insight into Georgiana than he did. _He_ had been the one to raise Georgie, had comforted her after a traumatic heartbreak and insured the incident would never tarnish her name. All the silly miss in front of him had done was act a fool! "She is _my_ sister!"

Instead of being intimidated by the dark tone, Kitty tossed her head back. "And mine as well now! How easily you have forgotten that fact!"

“We are leaving for London in the morning. Clearly Georgie will stay here as distance will do her good.” At the news, surprise swept across her delicate features before morphing into fury at his insinuation that removing her from Georgie would be beneficial. Kitty looked into his stormy eyes and refused to back down even as she felt his breath on her face. She was not sure when they had come to stand so close, but she would not be the one to step back. “Until then, you will cease with behaving in such a manner with _my sister_. I will not tell you again, _Catherine_.”

Unable to bear the sight of her a moment longer, Darcy abruptly spun on his heel and made for the door.

Giving in to her anger, Kitty stomped her foot. If he thought he would have the last word, he was clearly mistaken. "You may call me Catherine all you wish, but if you would like me to respond you'll be sorely disappointed. My name is _Kitty!_ "

The only indication Darcy heard her was the slight hitch in his steps as he stormed down the hall.


	6. Chapter 6

 

London, Kitty decided, did little to live up to her girlhood expectations. A town that was known for elegant balls and endless entertainment was nothing but a gloomy prison of monotony.

The more reasonable part of Kitty was aware that it wasn’t a fair assessment as she had not _actually_ been allowed to venture beyond the impressive townhouse in the nine days since their arrival. However, such logic did little to alter her current stance. 

A social creature by nature, Kitty found herself practically crawling up the walls in boredom with no other company beyond her grumpy and distant husband. His disapproving glances and monosyllabic words when they did cross paths did little to ease her frustrations. Without the joyous distraction of Georgie, her days had become tedious; aimlessly roaming the large townhouse and obsessively writing letters. The first few days she had idly spent in the parlor, hoping someone would call on them- after all, wouldn’t Darcy’s friends be curious to meet his new bride? Sadly, it was not to be.

She hadn’t even received any visits from her _own_ family. After sending an eager invitation, Kitty had been baffled at the tactful response from her Aunt expressing that while they would be delighted to visit such a dear relative, it would be prudent to discuss the matter with her husband before doling out such offers. Kitty could not understand what had spurred the sudden formality of her Aunt Gardiner. Perhaps the older woman had heard of how stiff Darcy could be and did not want to cause offense. Kitty couldn’t suppress the roll of her eyes, disdain at the thought that she needed permission to spend time with her family.

While desperate for contact with the outside world, Kitty’s pride held her from discussing the issue with her husband. As the days dragged on, Kitty had found herself close to breaking her vow, ready to swallow her stubborn pride and broach the subject. Fortunately before such a humbling moment could occur, Kitty was curtly informed that their solitary existence was coming to an abrupt end as they would _finally_ be venturing into the ton.

At last, her dreary routine was interrupted with excitement as a flurry of preparations surrounded the occasion; from choosing the most flattering dress she owned- Kitty was more than pleased to have such an opportunity to show off her newest acquisitions as Mrs. Darcy- to having her maid style her hair in what she was assured was the latest fashion.

Excitement danced across her nerves at the thought of her first London ball. She couldn’t count the number of times she had fantasied about such an occasion, staying up late into the night and giggling with Lydia at all London could offer. Tonight would more than make up for the dreadful days she had endured.

In her delight, Kitty abandoned the grim stalemate she and Darcy had found themselves in since their argument and turned to him upon being settled into the carriage. “How do you know the Elcotts? Do they live very far?”

Holding in a sigh, Darcy rubbed his temples, already feeling a dull throbbing at his temples from the stress of the impending evening. While he had hoped to avoid the season altogether, he had been forced to acknowledge the wisdom of his cousins advice not to delay any further. His only saving grace was the fashionable part of the year was drawing to a close and they had only caught the tail end of the season. A large portion of the ton would be venturing to their country estates for the typical house parties that overran the end of the season so the rapid current of balls would now be a much more bearable trickle until it was time to return to Pemberley.

Darcy glanced at her before once more pointing his gaze out the window. “I went to school with Marcus- Mr. Elcott.”

Well that was hardly informative, Kitty huffed to herself. If her mother was here, she would already know their every relation, earnings _and_ disposition before she even had a chance to ask. While Kitty did not expect, nor feel the need to know such details, she would like to learn at least a few facts about their hosts before she was to enter their home. However, her plans were not to be as the Elcotts lived only three streets away, in the same fashionable part of London their own home was located.

Vibrating with excitement, Kitty eagerly entered the house on Darcy’s arm. Tilting his head down towards her, Darcy softy murmured. “Do remember to display some decorum.”

Before she could take offense, they were standing in front of the evening’s host, his lovely wife smiling at the new arrivals. Kitty murmured the proper greetings, however her senses were too busy delighting in the sound of music and laughter drifting from the ballroom.

With an undeniable spring to her step, Kitty eagerly allowed Darcy to steer them to the heart of the festivities. Wide eyes took in the beautiful room of elegantly dressed crowds, mouth curling up joy. She could hardly wait to regale Lydia with all the little details from tonight.

Shaking herself from such musings, Kitty watched with interest as a handsome man and two beautiful women parted from a nearby group and made a beeline for them.

Darcy nodded to various other guests as he navigated her towards the approaching trio. “Mr. and Mrs. Weston, Lady Milton, might I introduce you to my wife, Mrs. Darcy.”

The taller of the women, Lady Milton, offered nothing more than a regal nod, one Kitty was sure she would never be able to perform without looking ridiculous. However on the other woman the action looked refined. Kitty couldn’t help but wonder how much practice she had in order to accomplish the desired effect. It didn’t hurt that the movement caused her silky black tresses to catch the light in just the right way.  

Mrs. Weston’s reaction was drastically different than her counterpart, greeting the pair with a genuine smile and a playful sparkle in her eyes. “Mrs. Darcy! How good it is to finally meet you. I was wondering about the woman that won our dearest Darcy here and I must say I am not disappointed.”

 A smile blossomed onto Kitty’s lips at the intimate and friendly greeting. She had been concerned that all of Darcy’s friends would abide by strict and overbearing formality. Kitty instantly knew she had found a new friend in the pretty young blonde that could only have been a few years older than herself.

Gracing his wife with a fond smile, Mr. Weston spoke with good humor. “Darcy! Good to see you again, my friend. I was beginning to wonder if I would be forced take matters into my own hands. My Emily was beside herself waiting to meet your lovely wife. I was rather worried you would find her unexpectedly at your breakfast table one morning.”

Mrs. Weston giggled and sent both men a playful smile. “If you would both simply abide by my wishes at all times, I would not have to consider such drastic actions.”

Kitty laughed, “A valuable lesson I’m sure all men would do well to learn.”

“I knew I would like you, Mrs. Darcy.” Lady Milton let out a small laugh, speaking for the first time in the introductions. Kitty felt a flare of pride in her chest at having won the approval of the other woman.

Linking their arms, Mrs. Weston smiled brightly as she guided Kitty away from the entrance, Lady Milton on her other side. “Lets take a turn around the room and we can introduce you. I’m afraid it’s not a large affair as the season is no longer in full swing. It’s a shame you had to miss our house party last month. We hold one every year at our estate in Leighton…”

Darcy strained to hear Kitty’s response as the ladies walked into the ballroom. Used to being so easily dismissed during festivities, Mr. Weston smiled indulgently at the retreating forms of the women before laughing at his friend’s prominent frown.

“I’m sure you can manage to part from your lovely bride for a few moments.” Mr. Weston clapped Darcy on the back as he spoke. “Bingley is here. Actually, I’m surprised he hasn’t already chased you down. He’s been even worse than Emily waiting to offer congratulations!”

Darcy gave a weak chuckle, eyes still following his wife as she ventured further into the crowds. With the situation out of his hands, he could only hope Catherine would refrain from any outlandish behavior- and that Emily had the good sense to remain by her side and guide her throughout the evening.

 

 

A modest affair to Mrs. Weston was an endless sea of new faces to Kitty. While always happy to make new friends, Kitty had never been thrown into meeting so many new people at once. The experience was both exciting and nerve wracking at the same time. After the first dozen introductions, Lady Milton had slipped away, murmuring words of encouragement before abandoning her new friend. Kitty appreciated the momentary support as she was currently struggling to keep names straight and fervently hoping that she not expected to remember them all upon the first introduction. Her head was spinning when she realized she had not even met half the guests yet as Mrs. Weston attempted to lead her to _another_ group happily chatting nearby. Luckily, before they could venture away from their current companions, a handsome gentleman stepped forward and nodded at both women. “I was hoping Mrs. Darcy would be so kind as to accompany me for a glass of punch.”

A man with warm brown eyes and an ever present grin, Kitty found it impossible not to return the smile. Placing her hand on his bended arm, Kitty murmured farewells to the others and a promise to Mrs. Weston to find her at a later time and allowed the gentleman to lead her away. The other woman smiled and waved the pair off while Kitty searched her memory for his name, if she recalled correctly, it was Mr. Ainsworth, but how she would be able to verify it without outright admitting she had forgotten was a mystery- and honestly mortifying.

“I thought you could use a break. This can all be a bit overwhelming when you’re new to it.” 

Kitty gave him a grateful smile, nodding at his assessment. “The entire evening has been a delight, but your consideration is much appreciated. I take it you are well accustomed to such occasions?”

His light chuckle was warm as he looked down at her. “Yes, although I’ve been traveling for a few months and must admit it took a few moments to reacquaint myself with the ways of the ton.”  

She did not know if his words were truthful or if he was merely attempting to put her at ease, but no matter the motivation, Kitty felt a sense of relief that even those so familiar with London society sometimes found themselves needing a moment to adjust. Maybe she was not so far out of her depth after all.

Before she could open her mouth to ask about his travels, a dulcet voice sounded behind them. “Oh, Mr. Ainsworth, how are you enjoying the evening?”

Smiling inwardly, Kitty mentally patted herself on the back for having gotten his name correct. Too bad there was no one she could boast to about her minor accomplishment. So caught up in her inner musings, Kitty missed the slight tensing of shoulders of the man in question.

Turning around to face the speaker, Kitty felt her eyes widen. The young woman standing before her appeared as if she had just stepped out of a portrait; beautiful delicate features set with bright blue eyes and perfect blond curls falling artfully around her shoulders.

“It has been a lovely evening.” Seemingly unaffected by the vision before him, Mr. Ainsworth smiled politely. “Mrs. Darcy, may I introduce you to Miss Hemsley, Miss Turner, and Mrs. Wellington?”

For the first time, Kitty noticed the other two women flanking Miss Hemsley. While pretty, both paled in comparison and appeared all too content to follow the beauty’s lead. Without needing to be told, Kitty could see that Miss Hemsley was someone with a fair amount of social standing. Pasting on her brightest smile, Kitty nodded politely. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

The dazzling eyes Kitty had been admiring only moments before suddenly turned towards her and Kitty felt a tingle of unease at their cold appraisal.

“I assure you, the pleasure is all mine.” Even with the angelic voice, the words felt like a threat to Kitty’s ears. “After so long away from town, I must say we were all a bit taken aback when we heard the Darcys would not be receiving any callers.”

It took a moment for the words to register, however once they did, it landed like a slap to the face as realization set in. A heavy weight settled in her stomach at the idea of Darcy being so ashamed of her as to take the drastic actions of isolating her from society. While Kitty had found the lack of social graces odd during her short period in town, she had not questioned it, foolishly attributing it to the odd customs of the ton. It had never occurred to her that it was all of her husband’s design. Suddenly her Aunt’s overly polite note from days before made sense. She could only wonder what her family thought of her contradicting her husband’s word. More importantly she cringed at what speculation was running through the ton. By Miss Hemsley’s insinuation, it was nothing flattering.  

Realizing that the small group was watching her in morbid fascination and in the case of Mr. Ainsworth- concern, Kitty swallowed the lump in her throat and looked the other woman in the eyes. “Yes, well I was under the weather for a short time, but as you can see I’m of perfect health now.”

“Oh?” Miss Hemsley’s eyebrow raised, her lips twisting into a cruel smirk as her voice took a deceptively innocent tone. “Your husband said it was due to prior commitments. That’s odd, is it not?”

“Well the health of ones wife is a commitment that is of utmost importance.” It was a pathetic excuse, even to her own ears.

By the narrowing of the frosty blue eyes watching her, Kitty knew the other woman would not be deterred.

“That is quite true. I do hope it was nothing too serious as I’ve heard those country ailments can be devastating. Why, according to Lord Bannington, after a sojourn to the countryside, our very own unflappable Mr. Darcy returned to London one night and appeared completely distraught. We were so _worried_ that he was suffering from a horrendous country affliction.” Voice tinged with mockery, Miss Hemsley widened her eyes in a poor imitation of concern. “ _Please_ do ease our troubled minds, as you saw him the next morning at your wedding.”

Kitty felt her face flush at the cruel snickers that sounded, realizing their little group of five had garnered a small audience. Miss Hemsley stood with her head held high, satisfaction written across her perfect features as she soaked in the attention from her triumph.

Humiliation washed over Kitty like a thousand pin pricks on her skin as she forced her lips into a tight smile, hoping that no one noticed the sudden sheen to her eyes. It was a vain wish however, as those that called the ton home were adept at pinpointing any weakness to be exploited and without realizing it, Kitty had just provided them with ample ammunition.

Brows furrowed in disapproval at Miss Hemsley, Mr. Ainsworth gently placed Kitty’s limp hand back onto his arm, expertly extricating them from center of the group. As if out of nowhere, Mrs. Weston suddenly appeared by their side, concern coloring her usually happy face as she took the gentleman’s place and politely waved him away for a moment of privacy.

Attempting to ease her new friend’s distress, Mrs. Weston spoke softly. “Don’t let Miss Hemsley’s hateful words impede your evening. We all thought it very sweet that Mr. Darcy would defer all social calls to have more time with you. I expect she’s…”

Kitty nodded along as the other woman spoke, not hearing a word as she attempted to appear unaffected. The rest of the ball passed in a blur, Kitty’s heart growing heavier with each passing second, any previous joy from the evening a forgotten memory. Not even Mrs. Weston and Lady Milton protectively flanking her could shield Kitty from the pointed smirks and speculative glances being aimed towards her with increasing frequency. 

 

Giving half his attention to Charles, Darcy scanned the ballroom for any trace of his wife. So far, it appeared that she had been on her best behavior and had even managed to charm more than a few of his friends. It had been heartening to see the approving smiles on their faces as they spoke of meeting his lovely wife. For the first time that evening, Darcy felt the tight knot of worry in his stomach ease. Catching sight of her across the large ballroom, he couldn’t stop the small nod of approval as he saw she was surrounded by the more respectable guests in attendance. 

Mistaking the slight show of approval to be directed at him, Charles joyously grasped Darcy’s shoulder and pulled him towards the cards room as he continued to detail his renewed efforts to win over the serene Miss Bennet. It seemed the other man had taken Darcy’s own nuptials as inspiration and was now determined he would not rest until he had won over the lady’s heart.

Far too caught up in his own relief, Darcy missed the stiff smile of his wife as she was returned to his side and the uncharacteristic drooping of her shoulders on their ride home.


	7. Chapter 7

For the first time in what felt like years, the ever present sense of encroaching ruin faded. As he walked into the dim lighting of his home, Darcy felt as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. The evening had been a surprising success; his friends had given their approval of Catherine and astonishingly she had behaved as any proper society lady was expected. He noted the easy friendship that had begun to form between her and Emily and knew it would make her transition into the choppy waters of society much smoother. It was with these thoughts that Darcy found himself taken off guard as the woman in question rounded on him, eyes shining with repressed fury.

Rage and hurt simmered deep in Kitty’s chest, the turbulent emotions she had desperately bottled throughout the evening boiling over, demanding release. As the night had worn on, the sting of Darcy’s actions became sharper with every snide glance thrown her way and the subtle snubs that were impossible to ignore. The pleased smile on her husband’s face was the breaking point for her fragile control.

“Tell me, did I embarrass you this evening? Shame the Darcy name?”

Confused by the sudden fury directed at him, Darcy frowned. He did not know where she intended this conversation to lead, but he would not feed into it. “I thought the evening went well and you behaved with utmost decorum.”

Apparently that was not a wise course to take as Kitty’s glare turned more furious. “Oh how surprised I’m sure you are then! How stressful it must be to always think me one step from ruining you!”

A tired sigh fell from his lips as Darcy rubbed his jaw. “I’m not sure where your ire is coming from, nor do I understand its direction towards me, but I can assure you I have done nothing to-“

It was too much. Throwing her arms in the air, Kitty interrupted the defense. “Nothing? Of course you would think my feelings to be _nothing_! I have spent countless hours alone in this house for you have made no effort to know me! You have taken me from my family and then disparaged my relationship with Georgiana- the only comfort I have been allowed during our marriage, and-“

Her words were the last straw, he was not going to allow this silly miss to cast aspirations on him. These accusations, while in part truthful, were not an accurate representation by any means. He did not care he was speaking over her, too angry to show any polite regard to the yelling banshee in front of him. “Taken you from your family? Do you not recall that I saved your family’s honor- twice! If not for me, you would be cut from society with no callers and not even a street urchin to show you kindness!”

Kitty ignored his interruption and continued on. She knew her voice was becoming shrill, however could not hold herself back. It felt good to finally have a target for her raging emotions. “-all the while plotting to keep me away from society, alone and miserable! You have opened me up to all manners of cruel speculation! Poor form- even for a disagreeable man as you! You find no joy in life and thus cannot stand it when others do! I’ve never even heard you laugh. You’re a ha-”

“In case you have forgotten, I have seen your appalling behavior first hand! Do you not recall shamelessly jaunting through ballrooms with soldiers chasing you and your sister?” Letting out a mirthless laugh, he pierced her with stormy eyes. “How about the reason for our _marriage_ , have you forgotten that?”

At her sharp intake of breath, Darcy knew the battle had been won. A gentleman would stop before more damage could be done. However, his anger and frustration since this sad ordeal began was creeping up on him, clouding his usually sound judgement. He had never spoken to any woman in such a manner, yet found he did not care at the moment. “ _Your_ actions have caused enough strife to my life that I would think it justifiable that I would protect myself from more of your foolishness!”

As if suddenly deflated, Kitty felt her self-righteous anger evaporate, giving way to a cold emptiness. The mere presence of the man harshly glaring down at her, the person she was expected to spend the rest of her life with, was too much to tolerate.

The rapid pounding of her retreating steps echoed through the sudden stillness of the hall, an uneasy companion to Darcy’s angry labored breaths.  

 

 

The next morning arrived all too soon and with it came an overwhelming sense of dread at being forced to face her horrid husband over breakfast. Kitty’s feet dragged with every step down the stairs and she rubbed at her tired face. She knew she looked a mess, face blotchy and eyes grainy from shedding too many tears the night before, but Kitty could not find it in herself to care. Her husband would find himself in yet another skirmish should he comment on her disheveled appearance. To be honest, Kitty was rather itching for a fight after spending hours ruminating on Darcy’s every misdeed since she had the misfortune of meeting the man.  

Sadly, her temper was not to be triggered as Darcy merely flicked cold eyes in her direction before returning back to his paper, voice dismissive. “Good morning.”

With a humph, Kitty plopped down into her seat and pointedly looked out the window. Her unladylike demeanor caused a tightening around Darcy’s lips, but no other reaction to warrant Kitty’s attention.

If the curt conversations that had plagued their meals since their uneasy union had been considered unpleasant, then the aloof glances and tense silences were pure misery.

It seemed that neither Kitty nor Darcy were willing to back down and found themselves in a battle of wills. Kitty, having lived with such drastically different sisters her entire life, was quite used to the simmering resentment of an unsettled disagreement. However, she was not prepared for a prolonged duration. Lydia, while having a vicious temper, could be rather easily distracted from her ire- of course this was most often _after_ she had created a path of destruction. Her other sisters could not compare to Lydia’s rage, and typically after Jane’s quiet admonishments, Lizzy’s sharp tongue or Mary’s preaching, the issue was set aside.

Darcy though, was not to be placed in the same category as her family-something he would have been infinitely pleased to learn. He made no barbed comments about their argument, nor did he attempt to show any vindictive streak. Instead, he was chillingly polite to a fault, and absolutely maddening to Kitty.

The more irritatingly formal Darcy was, the more irrationally incensed she became. The only thing preventing Kitty from starting yet another outright war of words was the fact that somehow their stalemate had resulted in a small reprieve from any more ventures into the shark infested waters of society.

It was nearing on three days since that night and with each passing moment, Kitty felt as if the air in the townhouse was becoming thicker with tension, making it harder to breathe. However, as much as she longed for an escape, she was unwilling to face the harsh world of the ton. She felt quite trapped with no other options.

It appeared that fate was finally looking down fondly on Kitty, for as she contemplating her dismal circumstances and dreading another long day under the same roof as Darcy, a note arrived from her Aunt Gardiner. It seemed her London relations had finally gotten word that the newly wedded couple had abandoned their self-exile and were once again engaging in the pleasures of society. 

Without a moment’s hesitation, Kitty immediately called for a carriage. There was no time like the present, especially when a perfect escape so easily fell into her lap.

A short ride later, Kitty found herself in a respectable, however far less esteemed part of London than her own home. However at the moment, Kitty would have traded all of her newly acquired wealth to be allowed to stay in a house filled with the comfort of her own family.

With assistance from the footman, Kitty gently stepped down from the carriage only to see Lizzy and her Aunt descending the stairs of their townhouse. Both women stopped short at her arrival, brows furrowing at the unexpected visit. It was presumptuous to arrive without invitation or notice, but Kitty was too desperate to care about manners. Besides, just the sight of their familiar faces eased the tightness in her chest and she welcomed the feeling.

“I was merely passing by when I saw you.” Kitty lied smoothly, answering the unspoken questions she could see in their eyes.

Her voice snapped both women out of their stillness and Kitty found herself being politely kissed on the cheek from her Aunt, followed by a rather perfunctory hug from her sister.

“My darling, how good it is to see you!” Aunt Gardiner grasped her hands, her smile wavering. “We would so love to spend the afternoon with you, but I’m afraid we are expected at the Gilmores for luncheon.”

Clearly torn between a standing engagement and possibly snubbing her own niece, the older woman bit her lip and glanced to Lizzy for direction.

Smoothly stepping into the conversation, Lizzy gave a somewhat false smile. “We really must not be remiss in our friendship to the Gilmores. Jane was unable to attend and is in the parlor. I’m positive she would be delighted to receive a call from you.”

“Of course you both must go! I’ll keep Jane company and we can arrange to meet later this week.” While Kitty gave both a reassuring upturn of her lips, she couldn’t stop the feeling of unease at her sister’s countenance. While Lizzy had acted in nothing but a friendly manner, there was a pretense in her demeanor that was unfamiliar.

“What a splendid idea! We feel horrid abandoning poor Jane after the excitement of this morning, but she insisted.”

Before the older woman could continue, Lizzy gave her Aunt’s elbow a gentle squeeze. “We really must be going or I’m afraid we’ll be late. Do let us know when you’re available Kitty.”

With a quick assurance to the retreating women, Kitty shrugged off the inkling of apprehension at her interaction with Lizzy. She was likely reading far too much into it due to her own lingering feelings of loneliness.

In the parlor, Kitty found a much warmer reception than she had from the hurried ladies outside.

Looking up from her sewing, Jane’s kind eyes widened in delight at the unexpected guest and in an instant Kitty found herself wrapped in the comforting arms of her sister.

“Kitty, how pleased I am to see you! You must tell me all about the wedding!” Jane, as sweet as always, sounded truly sincere in her joy for her younger sister. Kitty returned the embrace with enthusiasm, the smell of Jane reminding her of home. “We were sorry not to be there, but it was so sudden. We didn’t receive news until you had already left with Mr. Darcy. I’m also afraid you just missed Lizzy and Aunt Gardiner!”

“Do not worry yourself. I saw them upon my arrival.” Kitty reassured, pulling away from the warm security of Jane with obvious reluctance. A gasp escaped her lips as she took in her sister’s face, for the first time noticing the angry red swelling surrounding the other woman’s left eye. “Jane! Are you alright?”

Wincing slightly, Jane gingerly brought a hand to touch the tender spot. “I fear it looks worse than it truly is.” She gave a small wave of her hand and gently shook her head. “Please do not worry, it was just a bit of lemon juice. The swelling should go down soon.”

“Lemon juice! How in the world did such a thing happen?”

“Oh it was merely a simple accident. I’m afraid Lizzy was far more put out than even I was. ” Jane delicately sat down on a chaise, grasping Kitty’s hand in hers as her eyes sparkled. “Now you must tell me all about your wedding and how you and Mr. Darcy came to be! Oh, and of course about your time at Pemberley.”

The request made Kitty’s mouth go dry in sudden anxiety. Of course her family would expect to be regaled with details. So eager in her plan of escape from under Darcy’s roof, Kitty had failed to realize that her life would be of utmost interest.

She could hardly detail the bliss of her marital state- as it would be patently untrue and Jane would see past the lies all too clearly. Nor did she wish to mention her ill-fated venture into the ton. The only bright spot she could discuss was darling Georgie, but as that would most likely lead back to Mr. Darcy himself, Kitty did not feel safe risking it. “I’m sure I already told you all there was in my many letters. You must tell me about your new friends the Gilmores. Lizzy seemed quite taken with them.”

Jane’s eyes lit up at the thought of her friends. “Oh I’m sure you would adore them. Miss Gilmore and her younger sister, Sara, have been so kind and…”

With a sigh of contentment, Kitty leaned back against the chaise and allowed the soothing tones of her sister’s voice wash away her discontent. It felt so familiar that Kitty could pretend they were back at Longbourn and life was as it should have been. It was so easy to imagine that at any moment Lydia would race into the room demanding their attention.

A loud knock startled Kitty from the pleasant daydream, leaving her feeling rather disgruntled at the interruption. Without a word to her sister, Kitty rushed into the hall to dismiss the source of her ire so she could happily return to her comforting fantasy for a bit longer. However, the moment she flung the door open, those intentions were immediately thrown to the wind.  One would have to be heartless not to be moved by the sight of Mr. Bingley’s earnest face. Before the man could finish his greeting, Kitty had ushered him into the parlor.

Jane stood at their arrival, self-consciously bringing her hand to her face before quickly clasping them in front of her.  She needn’t have bothered with the display of nerves though as the man was so besotted with Jane he did not even notice the temporary imperfection of her newly swollen eye. Love was indeed blind it would seem.

“Miss Bennet, I’m sorry for the interruption. I didn’t mean to intrude. It’s just such a lovely day that I thought of you. Or rather, I thought you might want to go for a walk in the park.” By the end of his flustered invitation, Mr. Bingley’s face was a rather interesting shade of red.

Kitty grinned, pleased that Mr. Bingley had found a renewed conviction and appeared determined to win the heart of his lady love. The rosy hue in her sister’s cheeks told Kitty all she needed to know about where Jane’s opinion on the matter stood. It was clear there would be a wedding announcement soon enough.

“That sounds rather lovely.” Jane offered, voice tinged with regret at her next words. “I’m sorry to say that Aunt Gardiner is not here though.”

The couple looked rather crestfallen at the hindrance.

Kitty perked up as an idea occurred to her. If there was any benefit to her marriage, it was the freedom that it could afford in these occasions. It rather tickled Kitty that she could now be considered a proper chaperone and she would be sure to use that new role to Jane’s advantage. “Well, that shouldn’t be of consequence as I’m here! I’ll accompany you both.”

At the declaration, the pair immediately turned to her with identical looks of delight.

“Splendid! Thank you, Mrs. Darcy. This will indeed be a magnificent afternoon.” Mr. Bingley appeared beside himself with joy.

It was the gratitude in Jane’s eyes though that Kitty basked in. She couldn’t recall anyone in her family ever sending her such a look before.

“Thank you, Kitty. I’ll grab my bonnet and we can be off.”

“I will get it!” Before Jane could make the inevitable protest, Kitty scampered out of the room. She smiled to herself as she overheard Mr. Bingley taking the opportunity of rare privacy to begin praising a no doubt blushing Jane. Kitty knew she was shirking her responsibilities as chaperone, but her duty as a sister was much more important. A few minutes alone would do the young couple more good than harm. Besides, she was only to be upstairs a moment and if anyone could be trusted, it was the affable Mr. Bingley.

There was a slight problem with her plan Kitty realized once she was up the stairs. In her haste to give the couple time alone she had not questioned which room Jane was staying in. Now faced with a hallway and no idea which door to enter, Kitty bit her lip and with a shrug, chose the closest one to the stairs.

She let out a little sigh of relief at the sight of the familiar set of trunks her mother had insisted on buying for Lizzy and Jane before they departed for London. Apparently, their mother had felt that the old trunks would hinder her two eldest daughter’s chances of catching a suitable bachelor. No one in the family had understood Mrs. Bennet’s twisted logic, but they followed her lead rather than listen to a lecture on the importance of finding a husband. Kitty was positive all the Bennet daughters could recite her mother’s words by memory for all that they had heard it in the last few years.

The next few minutes were spent sorting through the various cases in search of the elusive bonnet. Only when she crossed the room and looked into the closet did Kitty feel a sense of triumph. Stacked neatly in the corner were various hat boxes.

With much consideration, Kitty opened each and studied the bonnets, attempting to determine which would be the most flattering on her sister. It may have seemed like a silly thing to expend so much effort on, but it was her self-appointed duty to help progress Jane and Mr. Bingley’s courtship and after receiving Jane’s appreciation earlier, she would not do anything to jeopardize it.

At the last box, Kitty’s nose scrunched in distaste as she snatched a rather dull looking bonnet into her hands. She could not imagine either of her older sisters choosing such a thing and could only surmise that it had been a gift from relatives. She could hardly allow Jane to been seen in the ugly thing- especially in front of Mr. Bingley.

As she went to toss the horrid thing back in its hiding place, her eyes narrowed on the papers sitting at the bottom of the box. Clearly her sister had gone to great lengths to secret the letters away. Kitty hesitated for a moment, the siren call of the unknown drawing her in.

There was a special joy that only those with siblings would ever experience; the exhilaration of delving into their private affairs and uncovering any manner of secrets. Even the dullest of information could be thrilling just for the simple fact that it was never meant to be discovered.

It appeared that such a temptation had not abated in the least as Kitty impatiently opened the first letter. The smile slipped from her lips as she read words never meant to reach her eyes.

Kitty, while often consumed with her own self-indulgent world, was not such a simpleton to not have seen Darcy's disapproval of her family during his stay in Meryton, but to have it placed so crudely on paper how little he thought of them, _of_ _her_ , hurt far more than she could have anticipated.

It did little to ease the ache that the only two members of her family above reproach in Darcy's eyes were her two eldest sisters. In fact, somehow it increased the weight Kitty felt upon her chest. It should not surprise her that Jane and Lizzy would be hailed as esteemed ladies whereas Kitty was lumped in with the rest of the Bennets; only tolerated through poorly veiled contempt.

Honestly, she was not sure why the harsh assessments were so jarring. Darcy’s opinions were hardly of any significance to her. Besides, it was not as if Kitty herself had ever been the preferred Bennet or thought of with much regard.

Her whole life had been in comparison to her many sisters. Jane was far more refined, Lizzy more witty and engaging, Mary for all her faults was always the pillar of morality, and Lydia forever the bold and entertaining one. All the while, Kitty was simply the one that was known for what she lacked in relation to the rest.

It had always been that way in Meryton and to a similar degree, albeit a far more damaging one, in her own family.

Her parents had never been subtle in their preferences; her father indulging Lizzy while making no attempt to disguise the disdain he felt at enduring the rest of his silly daughters. Then there was her mother, always fawning over Jane's beauty and Lydia's lively spirit, unable to spare praise for her other three daughters. It seemed both her parents had long ago chosen their favorites and could not be bothered to share any similar sentiments for their other children.

She supposed it was only natural that the rest of the world followed their example.

Kitty swallowed down the melancholy thoughts as she scanned the secrets Darcy had so willingly offered her sister.

Maybe she should have felt more shock or at least spent more consideration on the revelations of Darcy's role in the demise of Jane and Mr. Bingley's courtship. However, as she had never to been privy to any details in the first place, Kitty had not expended any lengths of time forming an opinion on the matter one way or another. Beyond that, there had been no lasting damage from his actions. The proof of that was currently downstairs.

A gasp tore itself from Kitty’s throat as she learned of poor Georgiana's sordid tale with Wickham. No wonder the poor girl had seemed so withdrawn when they first met. Kitty found herself torn between relief that Georgie had narrowly avoided the cad’s clutches and despair that Lydia had eagerly fallen into them. Her stomach clenched painfully at the thought of her cherished sister married to such a dishonorable man. She could only pray that the scoundrel had reformed and was doing right by her sister. Kitty searched her mind for any clues that Lydia was unhappy in her letters and was relieved when she could not recall any. They were filled with nothing more than anecdotes and Lydia’s typical flare for life. Maybe Wickham would have destroyed gentle Georgie, but Kitty was sure that her brash sister was a force to be reckoned with if the occasion should arise.

With a sigh, Kitty placed the letter down on the floor next to her. Funny that she did not even recall sitting down. The admission of Darcy’s feelings for Lizzy were shocking, however Kitty felt as though her heart had been placed through the ringer and felt rather dazed. To be honest, she had suspicions from the moment she realized it was from Darcy. After all, why else would he have laid bare his soul so completely?

Her hands trembled as they reached for the remaining letter, unsure if she could handle any more revelations. It was an odd sensation reading about such a major event of her life from someone else’s view. For the first time, Kitty allowed herself to see that she was not the only one that had suffered due to that unfortunate day. The paper crumpled in her hands as she stared down at it, emotions warring for dominance of her conflicted soul. It had never crossed her mind that the cold unfeeling man was heartbroken. To her shame, Kitty realized it was for she had foolishly allowed herself to believe that he had no heart.

No wonder Darcy had been drawn to her perceptive sister. For Lizzy was a sensible lady in a sea of silly girls. At the thought of Lizzy, Kitty choked back a sob. Oh, how her poor sister must have felt when she read these same letters?

Kitty doubted that there was anything more daunting in the world than the realization that she was the villain of the story. The blame was solely on her; her foolish actions had managed to tear the two lovers apart. As the admission slowly sank in, Kitty felt a heavy weight settle in her stomach. One that felt far worse than any guilt she had ever known.

Clutching the evidence of the devastation she had caused, Kitty wondered if there was a special place in hell reserved for careless girls that destroyed the happiness of others.

 

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

 

It was an odd thing, when one’s entire perspective was suddenly upended and yet the rest of the world remained so blissfully ignorant. Kitty wondered how no one could see the difference, didn’t they notice the sudden chill in the air or how the sun no longer seemed to shine as bright as it had just that morning?

If anyone were to ask Kitty about the rest of the day, she would be unable to recall any details. Rather, only the haze of shame and turmoil that clouded her vision. It felt as if she was detached from her body, somehow nodding at the appropriate moments and watching from afar as the besotted Mr. Bingley attempted to woo the perpetually blushing Jane. The couple, far too enamored with one another, took little notice of the abrupt change in Kitty’s demeanor, a small reprieve she felt overwhelmingly grateful for as she attempted to process her spiraling thoughts.

Unfortunately, the additional time was of little help. Without realizing it, the afternoon passed in a vague blur and all too soon Kitty found herself once again walking into the house she had come to view as a prison. For the first time, Kitty wondered if Darcy had felt just as trapped all this time. Had every morning been a struggle to face the new reality he had found himself in? Did he feel a constant hollow ache in his chest and a crushing loneliness?

Kitty longed to ask Darcy these questions, yet knew it was not her place. She may be his wife, but even more so she was the source of his anguish.

A sudden wave of determination swept across Kitty as she realized her next course of action. Lifting her chin up in resolve, Kitty made a silent vow; she would never again contribute to Darcy’s distress. From this moment forward, she would attempt to be the wife that Darcy more than deserved. A flash of brilliance washed over her in an instant. What better way than to preserve what he held so dear? A man such as Darcy valued his family’s honor. Hadn’t she seen that firsthand? While she would never be Lizzy- for no one could be as effortlessly charming as her dear sister, Kitty would do everything in her power to ensure that Darcy felt confident his family’s reputation would be in safe hands. She would become the perfect society lady and in turn lead Georgie to the same path, thus easing Darcy’s burden.

Of course, it was nowhere near close to fixing all the wrongs her thoughtless actions had caused, namely making amends with poor Lizzy, however, Kitty felt a small sense of satisfaction at her new purpose.

After all, even the smallest step in the right direction was progress.

 

The first step in her new plan, Kitty decided, would be to delicately nudge Darcy into escorting her back into the treacherous territory of the ton. As loathe as she was to once again face the cruel mockery that would no doubt be awaiting her, Kitty knew it was necessary if she was to succeed in her self-appointed mission.

Unfortunately, Kitty had little experience with subtle manipulation- her role in persuasion was usually to stand back while Lydia did all the needling. Pursing her lips, Kitty imagined how Darcy would react to Lydia’s methods of whining, blatant flattery and if all else failed, shrieking mercilessly. While effective against their parents, Kitty doubted it would work on a man such as Darcy. Likely, he would banish her away forever in the country.

It wasn’t as if she could wait around for Darcy to approach the subject. After all, it had taken him months to introduce her to society in the first place and since their heated argument, he seemed to have dismissed the idea altogether. More than likely worried she would cause a scene in front of all of London. With a little shake of her head, Kitty pushed down any irritation at the thought. With her new found knowledge, in addition to how she had lividly expressed herself in the past, Kitty would not hold his reluctance against him.   

A few short hours later found Kitty silently gazing at her dinner, all too aware of the looming presence sitting across from her. Somehow, her intentions flew out the window the moment she was faced with Darcy. Instead of politely greeting him as she had planned, Kitty had been at a loss for words as he greeted her with his typical aloof demeanor.

Shame kept her eyes from meeting his, unable to bring herself to look at him after so recently bearing witness to his innermost thoughts. It felt wrong that she knew such intimate details of the man without his knowledge. Now that she knew such a side of Darcy existed, Kitty felt as though she was seeing him for the first time. Suddenly, it was impossible to overlook the tired strain around his eyes or the subtle downward slope to the side of his mouth, as if he was in a constant battle to hold back a frown. 

The idea made Kitty’s heart clench as she realized she couldn’t recall ever having seen him truly smile. At most, he had given Georgie fleeting half grins that slipped from his face as if the effort was too much. The way she had managed to overlook someone else’s misery for months was yet another fault Kitty mentally added to her list. Even when he had thrown her culpability back at her, Kitty had done little more than dwell on her own misfortunes. She had never once considered all that Darcy had given up. Now though, it was all she could think about when him so close. In the span of a day, he had gone from a horrid villain to the tragic protector that had given up his own heart's desires so that she would not experience just how cruel the world could be to a fallen woman.

It took all of her restraint not to sweep him up into a comforting hug and beg for forgiveness. Instead, Kitty gently cleared her throat and blinked away the misty sheen to her eyes. “How was your day?”

Sharp eyes suddenly landed on her and Kitty resisted the urge to squirm. She couldn’t help but wonder if he could somehow see the guilt radiating off her in waves.

Voice cool and devoid of emotion, Darcy eyed her warily. “I conducted business, nothing to concern yourself with.” Prodded by manners, he added with clear reluctance. “I hope yours was pleasant, anything of interest?”

With clear relief that he seemed to accept her olive branch, Kitty launched into the story she had rehearsed before dinner, making sure to carefully avoid any mention of Lizzy. “Mr. Bingley sends his regards. He called on Jane while I was visiting and he so graciously offered to escort us to the park. It was such a lovely day that we…”

Studying her intently, Darcy inwardly frowned at her drastic change of demeanor. This friendly exchange was a far cry from the resentful silences he had come to expect. Just what had happened to the sullen girl skulking about the last few days? Listening to her chat about her afternoon with Jane and Bingley, Darcy contemplated this new development. Perhaps seeing her sister had resulted in the vast improvement to her mood. After all, Georgie was always a ray of light even on his most dreary days. 

For a split second he allowed his mind to drift to her other sister, wondering if Elizabeth had been present. Clearly not, as his wife hadn’t mentioned her even once to both his relief and disappointment. Despite his best attempts, Darcy wondered what Elizabeth had been up to the past few months. It was a train of thought he seldom allowed himself to indulge. He couldn’t help but question if she ever spared a moment to think of him. If so, was it with a secret longing or was it just a fleeting recollection of the man now tied to her sister? Such speculation did little good, but still sometimes he was unable to hold himself back. Feeling a familiar heaviness in chest, Darcy quickly dismissed the thoughts and instead focused on what the woman across from him was saying.

“… and that he does hope you can attend the ball this week.” The lie slipped smoothly from her lips and Kitty silently prayed that he wouldn’t press for actual details. She had decided to remain as vague as possible without prompting any suspicion. Luckily, there was always some sort of soiree this time of season and she was sure that Bingley probably did wish see his dearest friend again.

Still distracted from his unsettling musings, Darcy missed the signs of subterfuge and merely nodded.

Which was how, only the very next night, Kitty found herself being escorted by Darcy into a large ballroom.

Unlike her first time facing society, Kitty no longer felt exhilaration upon viewing the sea of elegantly dressed people. Her stomach was knotted in trepidation as Darcy steered them to a group of somewhat familiar faces. The men immediately descended upon Darcy, pulling him into their overly serious discussion and with dismay, Kitty realized her plan of spending the evening attached to his arm would not be possible. Turning her attention to the wives in the group did little to assist in her dilemma as they appeared engrossed in their discussion and paid her no mind. Well, she couldn’t stand there awkwardly all night. She casually scanned the room as she nodded along to what a grumpy older gentleman was currently explaining to the others, finding that the action made her seem included and less pathetic than she truly was at the moment. From the raised eyebrow Darcy aimed at her, Kitty could tell that he wasn’t fooled. With a proud lift to her chin, she sent her best smile, perking up as she heard her name.

“Mrs. Darcy!” Dropping her hold of Darcy’s arm, Kitty immediately turned to the friendly voice and grinned with genuine relief. “I was just saying how I hoped you would be attending tonight.” The confident smile of Mrs. Weston was a balm to Kitty’s soul as she realized she had an ally.

Her new friend hooked their arms and began pulling her away, sending Darcy a playful smile. “I’m going to rescue your poor wife from you lot.”

A small quirk of his lips and a nod was all Kitty saw before being dragged into the crowd. “I hope you don’t mind, but there’s no fun to be had when they get in their minds to talk about stuffy affairs. I’m afraid I had to abandon my own dear Colin to such things as well. I don’t think he’s even noticed yet.”

A throaty chuckle joined Kitty’s as Lady Milton joined the pair, flanking Kitty’s other side.

“Actually, it’s good form for you to learn these things early on. Husbands are best left to their own devices during these occasions.” With a mischievous grin, Lady Milton leaned closer and lowered her voice. “That way we are left to ours.”

As the conversation flowed smoothly between the women, Kitty felt the tension slowly begin to drain from her shoulders, even as others joined the small group. While there were still snide glances cast her way, Kitty found they were far easier to ignore when shielded by the protective bubble of her new friends. It felt like she was finally finding her footing with their easy back and forth, almost as if she was back home with her childhood friends. Hope blossomed in her chest at the realization that she had found a foothold in this new daunting social hierarchy. 

Unfortunately, Kitty’s internal celebration had been premature as she had not taken into account Lady Milton's habit of venturing off and disappearing into the crowd for most of the night or the never ending demands for Mrs. Weston's attention. As the night wore on, Kitty found their small group had become one of the main crowds, and with each newcomer, she was pushed a little further away from her friend until Kitty found herself on the outskirts. After her third failed attempt to politely maneuver her way back to Mrs. Weston’s side, Kitty let out a small huff of irritation. One would think the other woman was the Queen for how the masses vied for her attention.

In fact, it was the simple matter that Mrs. Weston was known for her lively disposition, kind heart and infectious laugh that drew her acquaintances close. That she was from an old and respected lineage and had married into an equally well off family only added to her appeal.

None of those facts helped Kitty at the moment however. With a resigned air, she stepped away from the crowd, keeping her chin up and a patently fake smile on her face. Unsure of where she was going, Kitty casually strolled towards the refreshments as if it had been her intended destination all along. A lingering survey of the room told her that Lady Milton was still nowhere to be found and Darcy had been swept away to the side of the ballroom where several men were listening intently as he and Mr. Elcott appeared to be in a serious but friendly discussion. She had not realized that so many people valued Darcy’s opinion, but as he easily held their attention, the respect from his peers was clear to see.

The memory of how he had been practically shunned at Meryton entered her mind and a small giggle escaped her at the thought that her little county had gone so against the _tons_ standing. She could only imagine how aghast they would be to find out how one of their own was not dutifully admired as expected.

“Well, that is music to my ears.” A smooth voice pulled Kitty from her musings as Mr. Ainsworth approached. Kitty looked up at the gentleman and grinned as he raised her hand and brushed his lips against the back of it in greeting. “Dare I ask what has garnered your amusement?”

As welcoming as Mr. Ainsworth appeared, Kitty would not dare open Darcy up to any sort of speculation, even if it would be innocently intended as a merry anecdote. “Oh, I’m afraid it was nothing worth mention. Merely something I remembered from home.”

“Ah, well now I must hear all about this joyous place you have come from.” Eyes sparkling with interest, he leaned closer. “Tell me, you have many sisters, do you not? I’m sure there must be many exciting stories from a full household. As an only child myself, I find the concept of siblings- especially so many- fascinating. Please indulge my curiosity.”

Kitty laughed, oh there were many tales she could tell. Sadly for her new companion, they would never meet the London air. She could only imagine how the ton would twist her fond childhood memories into an attempt to belittle her and those she loved.

Instead, Kitty settled on the boring well known facts of her family. “Yes, it was a full and rather busy house growing up. Not any longer though. Two of my sisters are actually in town as well. Miss Jane Bennet and Elizabeth- have you met them?”

“I believe I had the pleasure of their company last week at the park.” With a furrowed brow, he tilted his head. “I was under the impression you had more sisters, are they not in London as well?”

“No, my sister Lydia is married. Her husband is with the militia and Mary is at home.” Explaining Lydia’s absence was easy enough, but Kitty did not have an actual reason why Mary had been excluded. The fact was that their mother most likely figured Mary would diminish the chances of Lizzy and Jane snaring husbands. “My parents couldn’t bear to be parted from all of us at once, so they thought it best to keep Mary with them for now.”

“I’m sure it must be a drastic adjustment for them. I suspect you all kept them rather busy.”

Credit had to be given to the conduct of London gentleman, Kitty decided. Even as the discussion somehow centered on the trivial facts of her childhood and tame stories such as the time Jane and Lydia adopted two kittens when they were younger, Mr. Ainsworth still appeared fully invested in her every word and encouraged her to continue. Kitty wasn’t sure if it was simply good manners or if he could sense her apprehension in facing the other guests and was attempting to indirectly offer his support. No matter the reason, she appreciated the effort. Still, as much as she would love to stay in the safe little haven Mr. Ainsworth provided, Kitty knew it would do nothing but harm her already fragile social standing. While married ladies were permitted their fair share of freedom, spending too long in the company of a gentleman that was not her own husband would be sure to provoke the gossips.  

Reluctantly, Kitty finished her story and placed her drink down on the table next to her. “It has been a delight to see you again, but I mustn’t keep you from the rest of the party.”

A flash of disappointment entered his face before quickly being replaced by an understanding grin. “The pleasure has been mine. I hope to see you again soon, Mrs. Darcy.”

With another gentle kiss to her hand, Mr. Ainsworth retreated back into the crowds as Kitty wandered in the opposite direction. She had not taken even four steps before finding her path blocked by two women with curling smirks.

“Mrs. Darcy, how are you this evening?” Dread curled in Kitty’s stomach as she recognized the woman speaking as one of Miss Hemsley’s lackeys, Miss Turner. The memory of how the woman had gleefully witnessed Kitty’s humiliation was still raw. Not waiting for a response, Miss Turner continued. “We couldn’t help but notice you and Mr. Ainsworth seemed to be having a _riveting_ conversation.”

Her unnamed companion let out a high pitched giggle. “Well, we just had to come over and see what on earth _you_ could possibly say that was so fascinating. I admit we were rather puzzled.”

Smile, Kitty reminded herself, even as she felt her teeth clenching. If she wanted to win her place in society, her best chances were from following Jane’s example. She had long since decided that while both Jane and Lizzy enjoyed their fair share of popularity, attempting to imitate Lizzy’s natural combination of charm and wit may lead Kitty into dangerous waters with the far more seasoned ladies of the ton. Which left her with Jane’s personal brand of being too kindhearted for anyone to disparage. That meant bright smiles and being sweeter than honey, even if she was tempted to throw a drink in their faces.

“Sara! Amelia!” The deceptively sweet tone from behind her immediately put Kitty on edge as she instantly realized who was joining them. With no warning, a body bumped her to the side and Kitty barely caught herself from tumbling over. Regaining her balance, Kitty watched with narrowed eyes as Miss Hemsley kissed her two friends on their cheeks.

“There you both are.”  With a poor imitation of surprise, Miss Hemsley glanced over at Kitty. “Oh, and with Mrs. Darcy. Sorry dear, I didn’t even notice you. Ah, but I’m sure you’re rather used to that so no harm done.”  

“Daphne, we were just discussing why Mr. Ainsworth would spend any of his time with Mrs. Darcy.”

Miss Hemsley’s delicate features scrunched up in distaste as she swept her gaze across Kitty. “Hmm, well he’s always had such a tender heart. I’m sure he couldn’t resist offering his charity where it was most needed.”

The two other women let out snickers and nodded in agreement as Kitty made the effort to keep her chin proudly lifted, even when all she wanted was to curl in on herself and slink away to safety.

“That must be it. Perhaps he was concerned about her country manners and was valiantly trying to assist. After all, Mr. Darcy must have required a reprieve, the poor dear."

"Oh Sara, don't be silly. Mr. Darcy knew of those when he married her. Although, such a hasty marriage leads one to wonder, does it not?” 

As one, the women focused their full attention on Kitty, awaiting her response.

For a moment, Kitty floundered, unsure what her next move should be. Lydia would snap something nasty back, Lizzy would put her wit to good use, but what would Jane do?

It was impossible to determine as Kitty was fairly certain no one would dare say anything vindictive to her angelic sister in the first place. Knowing that there was nothing she could do to win this battle, especially when on such unfamiliar terrain, Kitty sadly admitted to herself that the best option was to retreat.

The ever growing sensation of a lump in her throat made her voice tight. “It was so good to see all of you again. Excuse me.”

Kitty counted it as a small victory that her steps didn’t falter even as she heard their pleased twitters as she walked away. These small triumphs were what Kitty learned to cling to as the next few weeks passed in a miserable cycle; every party falling into the same depressing pattern. Dejection had become an unwelcome companion as had the brittle smile she wore like a suit of armor in the face of even the harshest taunts.

It appeared Daphne Hemsley and her cronies had declared open season on Kitty and were out for blood. Kitty couldn’t fathom what she had done to inspire such disdain from the debutante, but somehow her mere existence was enough. It seemed the longer she was in society, the bolder the insults became. Or maybe with her dwindling hope, Kitty simply felt the jabs more strongly.

Adding salt to the wound was the arrival of Caroline Bingley to town. The vicious shrew had gleefully taken up the cause and where Miss Hemsley fell short, Caroline was sure to pick up the slack. Her favorite method of torment was sharing stories of the Bennet family in attempt to paint them as vulgar country bumpkins. She also had the uncanny ability to sniff out the few friends Kitty actually did have and attach herself to them, effectively rendering any temporary sanctuary back into enemy territory.

Kitty had witnessed firsthand how Caroline would infiltrate Mrs. Weston’s social circle only to abandon it when she spotted Kitty’s retreat. The other woman would then dog Kitty’s steps, sure to interrupt any attempts at conversations with Mr. Ainsworth. To his credit, the man continued to seek her out and lend a friendly distraction, trying to occupy her with questions about her interests and childhood. However, the arrival of Miss Bingley always proved to be too much and as politely as possible, Mr. Ainsworth would make a quick escape.

If she wasn’t so busy planning her own retreat, Kitty would have taken much more enjoyment watching the elegant man’s awkward excuses. As it was, Kitty had found the large ballrooms to be rather confining with her limited options. It often felt that she was in the middle of enemy territory without any line of defense.

As much as Mrs. Weston and Lady Milton attempted to shield her, it was an impossible feat. While both women were able to offer the momentary shelter of their company, their own obligations prevented any lasting solution as they inevitably had to part from her side.

Although not the answer to her problems, their friendship had become a cherished part of her days.

The encouraging smiles of Mrs. Weston and the way Lady Milton’s icy stare prevented any snubs while they were near was heartening to Kitty’s spirit. Likely more than either woman would ever know. As was the new routine both ladies had taken upon themselves, joining Kitty for tea every Monday and Thursday afternoon. Lady Milton had also implemented a mandatory excursion about town at least once a week; dragging Kitty and a far more amenable Mrs. Weston for either strolls through the park, casually exploring the fashionable shops and on one memorable occasion an open carriage ride with Mr. Weston as their driver.

While neither of the women ever spoke aloud of Kitty’s troubles in the ton, Kitty knew enough about social politics to understand that the jaunts about London were solely for her benefit. To be seen with her so publicly was a declaration of solidarity.

Still, for every kindness her dear friends showed her, the malicious ton worked diligently to counter them.

It was a fact that Kitty was none too gently reminded of as she found herself wilting under the glowers of three matrons. Kitty had long since learned to pin point the cues that a nasty encounter was about to take place and attempted to tune out their rather predictable insults by determining what their motives could possibly be. While Miss Hemsley remained a mystery, it was clear to see her lackeys were cruel in a bid for approval. Miss Bingley was pure jealousy- Kitty remembered clearly how the woman used to fawn over Darcy. But these increasingly frequent incidents with women her mother’s age presented a puzzle.   

“Mrs. Darcy, I never did get to tell you congratulations. Why, when I heard the news, I thought it must have been an unseemly joke or a miracle, well for you.”

Biting back her frown, Kitty watched the group nod in agreement. It didn’t escape her notice that the woman failed to offer said congratulations even when remarking upon it.

“Just between us, you must tell us how a little country Miss like _you_ managed to so neatly trap Mr. Darcy.”

Ah, so that was why these Mamas were so enthusiastic in their resentment of her. Not only had Kitty nabbed an eligible bachelor from their daughter’s orbits, but she had done so as an outsider.

Holding in a tired sigh, Kitty mustered up the energy for a tense pull of her lips that she hoped resembled a smile. “Thank you for the regards. I would love to stay and chat, but I really must give my compliments to our hostess for a wonderful evening. Excuse me."

While Kitty had become rather skilled at extracting herself from these clashes, she found that maintaining a serene aura- or as she had secretly dubbed it, her Jane persona, was draining. It was due to this sheer exhaustion that Kitty missed the hawk like eyes watching the interaction with mounting anger.

Nor did she notice the palpable tension in Darcy’s shoulders as he assisted her into the carriage later that night.

 

 


End file.
